Creating the life and work you want begins with you actually knowing what it is!
So first, let’s deal with the great big elephant in the room as far as this is concerned….
Some women struggle with even knowing what they want – because women, especially in my generation, weren’t traditionally brought up to think about what they want from life.
As I’ve shared with you before, like many women I was brought up to believe that I had to put everyone else (and I don’t just mean my family) and their wants/needs/desires above myself and my own needs. I never said ‘No’ to anyone, because I somehow believed that that made me a bad person.
And do you know where that approach led me?
To burn-out, stress and a total loss of my own identity.
I knew that it was important to me to help other people to make their lives better, but what I sensed as I entered my thirties, and learned to be true when I became a Coach, is that there was another way to do it – a necessary way – the way that life is meant to be.
And that is as follows:
You must know, love and honour yourself first and unconditionally, so that you can give the very best of who you are to yourself and to others
You have to value your deeply-held desires and dreams – because they hold the key to who you have the potential to become
It’s crucial that you acknowledge and respect the length, breadth and depth of your gifts, talents, qualities, strengths, passions & skills – so that you can be crystal clear on the difference that you were born to make in the lives of others
You must be 100%, authentically you – not a carbon copy of someone else and not a faint shadow of yourself.
You were born to be EXTRAORDINARY – and extraordinary does not emerge from being a doormat, from tolerating people or things you don’t want in your life or from living a life that you know is too small for you.
So, now we’ve got the elephant dancing around the room and we’re clearer about the ‘why’ and the ‘what’, let’s explore the ‘how’ I promised you.
In his book ‘Think & Grow Rich‘, Napoleon Hill made the ‘how’ very, very clear.
The book is about how to create great financial wealth through being yourself, doing what you love and making your unique difference. Sound familiar??!
As women, the next big elephant in the room is talking about money – we don’t like to do it, do we? It’s all a bit embarrassing.
So let’s just acknowledge here that our main driver is NOT money. You and I are about creating a life of significance and making a difference in the world.
But who said that we can’t make a difference in the world and create wealth for ourselves & our families through doing it?
Money, when you think about it, is merely another form of energy and a facilitator of all the experiences that make life a great place to be!
In fact, many of the women I work with want to create wealth for themselves & their families, so that life is comfortable and so that they can then create foundations and charitable organisations to help other people.
Let’s get back to Napoleon Hill…
Napoleon based his ‘how-to’ on studying, over twenty years, how highly successful people (people who made a massive difference in the world) actually became successful.
This is his formula for creating the life you want and it’s extremely simple. It begins with being clear on the specifics of the ‘what’ and then giving it a monetary value:
1. Fix in your mind the exact amount of money you desire
Do you buy Lottery tickets, or know someone who does?
What does that tell you?
Doesn’t it tell you that we all know that money oils the wheels of a comfortable life? It by no means makes you happy – as the suicide rates amongst Lottery winners shows – but it does enable you to do the things you’d love to do!
So, think about how you’d like your life to look.
Who and what would be in that picture?
And, if a lack of money is a factor in not being able to create it, what would it take to make it a reality?
How much do you need? Exactly?
You have to be clear – fuzzy thinking produces fuzzy results.
2. Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the life you desire
I LOVE this one, because it’s based on the universal law of cause and effect.
It’s true that, according to the Law of Attraction, you attract into your life what you put your attention and focus on – BUT there has to be an exchange of energy, to keep the universe in balance.
What it’s my absolute pleasure and privilege to give in return for the life I want (including the monetary reward) is my time, my love, my knowledge, my experience, my ideas, my skills & talents, my essence, my message, my voice, my inspiration – and much more!
How very win-win is that?!
What will you joyfully give in return for the life you want?
3. Establish a definite date when you intend to possess the various elements of the life you desire
And don’t make this date aeons into the future – once you start on this path, things happen that you could never have foreseen, from directions you never expected!
Clarity and intention are amazingly powerful.
When I got clear on the fact that I intended to become a Life & Career Coach, I honestly had no idea how I was going to do it – based on the fact that we simply couldn’t afford (money again!) for me to retrain at that point in our life. As things stood, there was no way I could do it financially.
And then, everything changed in a totally unexpected heartbeat. There were two factors – one was a modest windfall that paid for the course (virtually to the pound – there was a little left over) and the other was a change in our family circumstances. Both of which meant that I could not only retrain, but that I could take a year out of working to do It!
4. Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you are ready or not to put the plan into action
A plan of some description is SO important.
It’s your starting point. With a plan, you can tweak it and even change it, if necessary. Without a plan, there’s no path to steer, no tweaks to be made, because you have no starting point and no direction.
When you create your plan, begin with the end in mind – so that you can work backwards, step by step, to understand what actions you need to take to get there. So, the question to ask yourself at each step is, ‘What needs to happen, at this point in my plan, for this to become a reality?’
What really helps me in this regard is my Vision Board. I put on there pictures and visual representations of everything I want to have, achieve, give, create, etc. and it’s in my visual field, and thus in my unconscious, all the time I’m in my office.
I shared with you, a few weeks ago, that I’ve ticked off 95% of the things on my Vision Board already – some of which, to be honest, I didn’t know how I could possible do in a year!
5. Now write it out
To support your Vision Board, write a clear, concise statement of what you want your life to look like – including any monetary value involved – naming the time limit for achieving it, what you intend to give in return for having it, and describing your clear plan for doing it.
I have a personal Journal, where I regularly write down my thoughts and musings, my insights, my ideas and my aspirations. This is where my life statements go (as I update them).
I highly recommend that you have a Vision Board and a Journal in 2013.
6. Read your written statement aloud, twice daily
This last part is a psychological tool and it’s based on utilising your own unconscious to help you, by the use of auto-suggestion and self-hypnosis.
Okay, so I know this one demands a bit of time and effort – but, in truth, you don’t grow and achieve your best possible life without giving it thought, time, effort and attention.
Cause and effect – remember?
I keep telling you how powerful you are – can you see how you have everything inside yourself that you need to make your dream life a reality?!
So, there you have it – a simple (i didn’t say easy!) formula for creating the life you want in 2013.
Changing your life begins with one small step.
Which step will you take, as you head for 2013?
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